Life is a balancing act of time and responsibilities. There’s never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do and sometime you have to be creative to enjoy your hobbies while also minding your responsibilities. So, it comes as no surprise that being an outdoorsman when you are a father and a husband is not always an easy thing to do. How do you find time to enjoy the outdoors when your wife and kids need you? Here’s seven handy tips we’ve learned along the way to help you get outside and enjoy yourself:
1. Bring The Family With You
This solution is probably the most obvious but, potentially, the hardest. Getting your family involved in your outdoor activities – be it hiking, camping, snowboarding or fishing – is a great way to build unity in the family as well as expose your kids to the great, lifelong benefits that the outdoors can provide. There are potential pitfalls with bringing the family along, however. First, you are not going to be able to go ‘balls to the wall’ like you usually do, especially if you have younger children. It’s going to take time for your family to build up the intensity and stamina you may have for the outdoors. They aren’t going to be able to hike 30 miles in one day or do a sunrise to sunset fishing expedition. Taper back your approach and expectation to build them up. Make it fun and comfortable – keeping them warm and dry is key – and they’ll be more apt to come back for more.
2. Get Your Kids Involved and Excited
The biggest hurdle I have, even with my two year old twins, is that if they don’t want to do something, they won’t (at least not without a lot of fussing and whining). In order to combat this lack of enthusiasm, I spend a lot of time building excitement in them. I’ll sit down with them and flip through issues of Backpacker magazine, showing them the pretty places we can visit. I’ll turn on snowboard videos and show them how fun it is, sometimes picking them up to flip and spin them with the riders on the screen (they get a kick out of that last part!). We’ll talk about the kinds of animals you can see in the woods. And, they’re all time favorite, I let them play with my gear when I’m getting organized for an outing. They especially love putting on my snowboard helmet and running around with my daypack on. Bottom line is that getting them excited about the adventure is half the battle to getting them to come out with you.
3. Make Deposits In Your Brownie Point Bank
Every relationship is about give and take. My wife and I are no exception. I will fully admit that I’m especially blessed to have a wife who is totally understanding and accommodating. She understands that sometimes I need some “me” time and allows me to get some time to myself as needed. The give and take in a relationship is all about the Brownie Points though. I make deposits by being present – not just physically, but really involved – in my wife and kids’ life as much as possible and by doing things, big and little, to build up equity of sorts. Simple things like clearing the table after dinner (especially if I cooked as well), cleaning up the house while she’s giving baths, emptying and loading the dishwasher without being asked…just the little everyday things that need to be done. I also make sure she has the ability to do whatever she wants whenever she wants. Need a day to go to the city and get your hair done? Sure – not a problem. Want to head to Florida for a week to see your grandmother? Have fun! I’ll take care of everything. The more you give, the more you get. It’s important to remember that this system is not a tit-for-tat system. It’s more about respect and trust with your spouse.
4. Nature Can Be Romantic
Who says that being outdoors have to be all rough and gruff? Want to spend some time outdoors and also want to spend some quality time with your wife? Why not plan a hike to a nice area and bring a picnic lunch? Plan a day at the beach with just the two of you. You can bring your surfboard, but don’t spend the entire time in the water (unless she surfs too). Grab a canoe and take a leisurely paddle down a river, maybe ending near a nice restaurant. Plan a getaway weekend to a ski resort where you’ve booked a nice room and set yourselves up with a his and hers massage in addition to the skiing or snowboarding. Or, if your wife is a bit more adventurous than mine, plan a weekend backpacking trip for just the two of you. A little getaway time in the wilderness with just the two of you will be a chance for you to reconnect with each other while also enjoying the beauty of nature. Much like in the first tip, you want to make the experience memorable and comfortable for her. The only thing worse than not getting quality time with your spouse is having a miserable time when you are together because your cold/wet/hungry.
5. Open Daddy (Outdoor) Daycare
This step is, in itself, a great idea but it also goes along with tip three. What is every mom in need of? Some “me” time. Mom’s are incredible people who balance the needs of children, household and husband while usually sacrificing their own needs in the process. Taking your kids for the day and planning activities that occur outside accomplishes so many things. First, you’re spending time with your kids and, with the exception of maybe your wife, there’s no one in the world you need to spend more time with than them. Secondly, you’re spending time outside which is a main goal of yours. Third, you’re instilling a love of the outdoors in your kids which is never a bad thing. And fourth, you’re giving your wife some much deserved time off. Obviously, the younger your kids are, the harder this tip will be but it doesn’t have to be impossible. I try to find easy trails to hike in my area (less than a mile long) that preferably end at a park with a playground. Sometimes I’ll throw a picnic lunch in my pack, other times I’ll just through snacks and drinks in there and take them out to lunch later. You can find a place to go sledding in the winter or swimming in the summer. As your kids grow, so do your options. Oh, and the upside to keeping your kids occuppied an happy outside all day? The fresh air usually makes them crash at night!
6. Rest Early, Rest Often
I’ve found this approach is especially true with little kids. The more breaks you give them, the more apt they are too have high spirits and high energy/enthusiasm levels. My twins can usually hold an interest for about an hour and then they need a break which typically involves a snack at a minimum. Your days of snowboarding through lunch or eating while on the move during a hike are most likely gone…at least for the foreseeable future. But that doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. A hot chocolate at the lodge, a game of hide and seek in the woods or a swimming break during a canoe trip can all be as much fun, or more, than the activity you’re involved in. Just understand that your kids won’t keep a laser focus the way you do and you’ll need to keep them interested in the overall theme of having fun outside. I haven’t tried it yet, but I’ll bet Geocaching is a great diversion from what they would consider a mundane hike.
7. Explain Your Needs
Your mileage may vary on this tip, but I find it to be very useful for me. When I met my wife, I was heavily active in the snowboard and wakeboard communities and also spent a lot of time doing physical activities – organized and unorganized sports mostly as well as working out. I had kind of put outdoors activities like hiking, camping, fishing, canoeing, etc. on the shelf for some time but have since rediscovered them. The bottom line is that I was an active guy. She quickly learned that being active was my outlet – my stress relief – and that if I wasn’t active, I became one cranky dude. Now, when I feel myself getting cranky, I talk to her and explain that I really need to get out and do something. Sometimes these activities involve something as complex as a weekend snowboard trip with the boys or as simple as a few hour hike in a local state park. Either way, being open and honest with my wife has always been a good course of action for me.
I originally lined up seven tips, but I kept coming back to one thought as I was writing. Enjoying your life is all about your effort level. If you put the time in, good things will happen. That being said, my bonus tip is:
8. Be Unconventional In Your Approach
As the saying goes, life is what you make it. You can only achieve what you want if you think outside of the box. If your goal is to be outside, find ways to do it. Get up at sunrise to go hiking so you can spend the rest of the day with your family. Find trails, fishing spots or nature reserves near your work and get out during lunch. Research ski resorts near your business travel destination and tack a day on the beginning or end (on your nickel) to stay and ski or ride. Plan a family vacation that involves some outdoor activities. Become an ‘urban explorer’ – who says you have to be in the woods to hike and explore? When it comes down to it – just get outside and enjoy!
I hope you like this article and have found some or all of these tips helpful. Please feel free to leave your own tips in the comments.
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When I get married I’m going to make this post my wedding vows. Either that or I’ll get it incorporated into some sort of legal document that allows for all of this.,
Srini – thanks for the comment. Glad you liked the post. That’s really funny about putting it in some eventual vows. Hysterical! Hope you find a girl as understanding and awesome as mine!