Daughter #1 made me be the bad guy last night…and broke my heart in the process.
The Back Story
The girls have been expanding their vocabulary exponentially lately. Their ability to string words into sentences has grown in parallel to their vocabulary. All of this progression has been great because they can finally hold conversations with us and let us know what they want, need, feel and dream.
It also means they’re able to be smartasses.
The “Incident”
The girls came home from school last night in their typical moods – upbeat but hungry which can quickly turn to chaos quick. Not to be caught in between two dueling toddles, Mrs. BD had dinner ready relatively quickly and all was well. We sat down as a family for a good, healthy meal.
Then Daughter #1 started getting sassy…yup, I used the word sassy.
She started telling my wife that “Mommy needs a timeout” and back-talking when we were asking here to stay in her seat and eat a little chicken.
Long story short, we calmly explained that you don’t talk to Mommy that way and, if she did it again, she’d get a time out.
Guess who proceeded to tell Mommy that she should get a timeout?
Punishment For Your Crime
After the last outburst, I calmly picked her up and took her over to the stairs. I placed her on the stairs and said that she was in timeout because she was not talking in a nice way to Mommy.
Then it happened.
The big eyes welled with tears. The lips turned down and the bottom lip stuck out. Then I heard the most pathetic noise I had ever heard in my life. In their 2.5+ years, I have heard my girls cry…alot. But I have never heard such a pathetic, mommy-or-daddy-pick-me-up-because-I’m-so-super-sad cry like this one.
Natural instinct told me to pick her up, hold her tight and tell her that everything would be OK. But I couldn’t. Here I was trying to instill manners into her by discipling poor behavior. How could I pick her up and coddle her without destroying every bit of control I had over the situation?
I walked back to the table feeling like the world’s worst father. She continued to wail for probably thirty seconds or so and then just occasionally whimpered for the next minute or two until my wife went over and let her out of the timeout. To her credit, Daughter #1 apologized to both of us (after a slight prodding).
Did My Parents Always Feel This Way?
It got me to thinking though – did my folks always feel like this (or worse) when they had to reprimand me as a child? Does it get any easier? Do I eventually become immune to it? I couldn’t believe the effect those alligator tears and that big bottom lip had on me. No one told me parenting wouldn’t be fair.
I always knew that being a father would be the toughest job I would ever take on, but I don’t think I expected the emotional strain it can cause. Do any of you have any tips for dealing with that part of it?
Does this article resonate with you? Got any tips on how to deal with kids who (knowingly or unknowingly) guilt trip you when you discipline them?
Let us know how you handle it in the comments below or, better yet, like us on The Big Dan’s Ramblings Facebook Page and leave a comment there.
photo credit: Andy M Taylor via photopin cc
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