The holidays were always very structured events when I was a little kid. Thanksgiving was at my folks house, the menu was almost identical year to year and dinner was always served at the same time. Christmas and Easter were the same way – same venue, same menu, same itinerary.
Then I grew up and moved away…and married a Jewish girl. My holiday count increased due to the addition of the Jewish holidays. The travel time to my typical holiday dinners increased while the frequency that I attended certain events decreased. And, most importantly, my family grew by two adorable little ‘Cashews.’
The lump sum of all these changes was that my holiday traditions got turned upside down and inside out.
You Do What on Thanksgiving?
What do you mean you don’t eat until 4pm?
Don’t you know that you’re interfering with football at that time?
What? You don’t watch football?!?!
That was just one of the many monkey wrenches that got thrown into my, up until then, rock-solid holiday traditions. To say that it was a culture shock would be putting it mildly.
It took me a little bit of time to get over the fact that Christmas dinner wasn’t always going to be at my parents or that Easter dinner might not always be ham and lasagna. But, exploring the different traditions and making new ones has actually been a pretty fun process.
Making It Your Holiday
The bottom line is that, as we grow up, our childhood traditions evolve with us. As we grow our families, folks get added to the mix and we integrate traditions – adding some, dropping some, modifying others – until we have our own, new traditions.
For instance, my life became very interesting when I married my wife. I had never really known a Jewish person before her, let alone know anything about their customs or traditions. I went from celebrating all the traditional American holidays plus Christmas and Easter to also celebrating Hanukkah, Passover, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.
Holy culture shock GoyBoy!
But I survived and have enjoyed the process. My eyes have been expanded – along with my wife’s – and we’re better people for it.
Now our Decembers are super busy with Christmas and Hanukkah.
Most springs, we spend time trying to out how to not eat bread or meat on Fridays when Lent and Passover co-exist – neither of us are big fish people, so this is very complicated.
The best part about owning our holidays is that we get to bring the “older” generation into our traditions – our parents and grandparents get to see the holidays in a new way and experience the holidays (again) with little kids in the picture.
My parents have missed seeing little kids with eyes wide open on Christmas and Easter morning. Now they get to experience that again – and they are happier than ever.
My wife’s folks have the same reaction with the kids on Passover. It’s been a long time since the afikoman has been hidden in their house.
In the end, we own it all. We’ve gone from being guests in our folks homes to hosting holidays at our house, creating our own set of traditions and serving what we want for food.
We adapt the traditions we liked, dump the ones we don’t and make new ones. It’s an iterative thing – we haven’t got it perfect just yet, but it’s getting there.
Enjoy Yourself
Holidays are about family and togetherness. No matter what you do, make sure you surround yourself with the folks you love and it’ll be a special day. No one will remember the food you serve (unless you require a visit from the fire department) or whether the placement and the napkins look good together. They’ll remember all the fun stuff that happens and the personal interaction. Enjoy yourself!
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