Holy crap has distraction taken hold today. I came home from a doctor’s visit around about two hours ago with every intention of sitting down and writing a post for the site…and I’m just getting started.
First, I had to eat lunch.
Then I had to try on the new neoprene calf support sleeve I got from Amazon.
Then I absolutely had to skip over my Google Reader followed by checking all my email addresses.
Of course, at that point, I needed to use check ALL my social media pages. And, obviously, I had to respond to a few things on each site…which lead down the rabbit hole of reading some of the absurd links people post on them – did I really need to see that Durex is selling staying power pillows?
I followed all this up with making a cup of coffee and downloading OmmWriter so that I wouldn’t be distracted while writing.
Phew! I’m tired just thinking about all of that!
All of these distractions got me thinking about how, as a dad, sometimes I put off the things I should be doing for no good reason.
Avoid The Kids – We All Do It
Don’t lie to yourself – you’ve done it.
Your kids are quasi-occupied and you pick up your iPhone with the intent of checking something quickly‘ Next thing you know, a half-hour has passed, the witching hour is upon you and the kids have horns coming out the side of their heads…pitchforks aren’t far behind.
Maybe it’s not an iPhone – maybe it’s the latest Sports Illustrated issue or the daily newspaper. Or maybe you just want to see how that TV show or ballgame ends.
Whatever it is, you became engrossed in it and it distracted you from your kids.
First off, it’s OK. You’re human. You’re gonna fuck up.
And you know what? You might even like it.
I’ll fully admit that there are times when my kids are quiet (and sometimes when they’re not) that I just check out mentally. I’m not proud of it in retrospect but, in that moment, I’m enjoying the hell out of it. I’m in my own world and they’re someone else problem. I know it sounds horrible to say it that way, but don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind at least once.
Consequences Of Our Actions
Think about what we’re missing though.
Our kids are only young once – and only for a short time. Is that email really that important? Can the article you desperately need to read wait until after bedtime? Haven’t you ever heard of DVR? Does any of that stuff in any way, shape or form more important than building a relationship with your mini-me?
On top of what we’re missing as parents, think about what message we are sending to our kids. They’re only important to us sometimes? They don’t deserve our unbridled attention? Or, my absolute favorite, that ignoring people is acceptable behavior?
Yeah, that last one definitely won’t come back to bite you in the ass!
For better or worse, we – as parents – are the role models our kids look up to. Moreover, as fathers, we’re what our sons aspire to be and who our daughters aspire to be with.
If you’re present but not really there, your son is going think that he can ignore his family when he’s grown up and your daughter is going to expect minimal attention from her spouse.
Break The Cycle – A One Month Challenge
Here’s my challenge to you:
QUIT! Cold Turkey!
For the next month, I challenge you to never have your phone in your hand when your kids are around. Ditch the newspaper when you’re with them. Put the magazine aside and keep the TV turned off when they’re awake. Engage your kids, make them part of your life in a way that you never have before.
I’m going to attempt this approach for the next month. What do I expect to gain from it? I don’t know. But I’ll bet you a six-pack that at the end of the month, I’ll have a better, more engaged relationship with my kids. On top of that, I’ll bet you another six-pack that the relationship I have with my wife will be stronger.
Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Do it for your family.
Their childhood is already short enough – don’t miss any more of it than you need to by being checked out.
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photo credit: David Robert Wright via photo pin cc
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