Swearing In Front Of My Kids

This post is most definitely rated PG-13 for language. You were warned…

I have always had a love/hate relationship with those words that polite society shies away from and refers to as “swear words.” I grew up in a home that definitely did not promote their use but, with all the sports I played, they became second nature to me. “Shit,” “damn” and even the occasional “fuck” are pretty regular occurrences in my daily vocabulary. I am, however, quite conscious of where and when I use such phrases. A public setting where kids are present is a big no-no. Work is a place I usually avoid using them as well. I was taught to respect others in my environment and that’s what I tend to do. I’ll drop a swears (f-bombs included) on occasions, but only very rarely in a general public setting (ski slopes and surf breaks don’t count) and never ever in front of kids. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m aware of my surroundings and try and make sure I don’t say something that might offend someone (at least at an audible level).

My house, however, was always my sanctuary. I could get away with saying just about anything there and I did. It wasn’t uncommon for my wife or I to drop a “shit” here, a “damn” there, or even the occasional “fucking A” when we were really bothered.  Well, that was at least until the twins were born…

Let’s take a step back.  When the girls were just born and they weren’t much more than gelatinous beings who slept, crapped and ate, we could get away with a lot more. Getting into the swing of being a parent can be a difficult thing and having twins didn’t make it any easier.  We’d talk about shitty diapers and those damn car seats that are such a pain in the ass to move between cars. And I’m sure that we each spouted something about be so fucking tired  more than once during those first few months. But it really didn’t matter. The girls could not care less what we said as long as we kept them fed, warm and happy.

Life sure has changed in the roughly two and a half years since that time.  I now have two walking parrots who like to recite exactly what we say.  It’s cute when I can get them to say “Go Patriots!” in my in-laws’ house when the Pats are playing the Jets, but it’s definitely not cute when I drop and f-bomb after stubbing my finger and J or M starts yelling it with me.  Even non-swear words are becoming an issue.  The other night, for some God-awful reason, the song “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred came up in conversation and J ran around the house yelling “I’m too sexy!” Yeah, just what every dad wants to hear his two and a half year old daughter say…I’ll have another Snooki on my hands before you know it!

I really don’t want to teach my kids these words.  I don’t want to be the father who gets the phone call from the pre-school because his kid(s) is running around with every “bad” word known to man spewing out of their mouth.  I just don’t want to be that guy.  But, at the end of the day, I really need to ask myself why I feel the need to shelter my kids from these words. After all, that’s all they are…words. Sounds that roll out of our mouths due to the odd combination of how our tongues and cheeks interact. I suppose it’s the intent of the words that really needs to be taught.  My kids need to understand that no, you shouldn’t use these words but that the important thing is to treat people the right way.  Just because you curse, doesn’t mean your a bad person but just because you’re a good person doesn’t mean it’s OK to curse.  Will almost-three year olds understand that?  I hardly do and I’m 33!

So, will I swear around my kids in the future? To be perfectly honest – probably. Actually, yes. I’ll try to bite my tongue and teach them that it’s not socially polite to do so.  But I’m sure the first time they hear shitdamnhell, and fuck won’t be on the playground. You have the right to consider that bad parenting or not – it’s your opinion. And I have the right to tell you to fuck off and go to hell with your shitty opinion if I don’t agree with it!

Photo courtesy of joshjanssen. Click to see original.

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